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I hate to admit it, but I'm no stranger to the art of being stubborn. I wouldn't say that I'm so much of a "my way or the highway" kind of gal, but I am pretty good at building things up in my mind only to realize that they aren't going to work out that way, but I'll still try to make it happen. Oftentimes, I can be stubborn when it comes to listening to what God is telling me. I hear it, through whatever means he speaks to me, and then I say, "um, okay thanks, but I still think I'll do it this way." Every single time I get burned because as I mentioned in an earlier post, His plan is always better than mine.
A lot of my prayers consist of praying for the relationships I have in my life with my parents, friends, and yes, even boys. This isn't about to turn into a whole "pray for your future husband" post because honestly, I know nothing about that. But, what I do know is that God shows me a lot about the relationships in my life, and when I am obedient to Him, he blesses me with an abundance of healthy, joyful relationships. Sometimes, He tells me to just let go; to let go of some of the people that I'm holding onto the tightest. I've gone through seasons of my life where I have completely overlooked the fact that God wanted to take the burden of unhealthy relationships off of my shoulders, but I still held on. I refused to be obedient.
Letting go of toxic relationships is hard. It's borderline impossible, but I've learned recently that sometimes you have to rip off the relationship band-aid and let God heal you. Then, you have to be patient and rest in the fact that God's best is coming your way. Maybe not in sync with the timeline you set in your mind, but it will come. Promise. I've seen it firsthand and I've never been filled with more joy or had more beautiful people in my life who draw me closer to Christ.
Oftentimes, God will tell me to do something that I just really do not want to do. Like, apply for a position that doesn't sound appealing, or to call and check up on someone that I have no interest in pursuing. Or, sometimes I build walls up in an attempt to guard my heart, and the Lord will knock them down because He knows that's what is best. When those walls are destroyed, I see just how toxic building walls can be. We are called to connect with people. To share our struggles and to be vulnerable. I'm learning to be obedient in this way as well.
I encourage you to do the same. Pray for God’s guidance to become clear and then do your part by following Him and being obedient. Even if it doesn’t seem right for you right there, the Lord really knows what’s up ;)
Just a short lil blog post to collect my thoughts about what God has put on my heart recently. Let me know what you think below in the comments! xoxo